


FUI: Flying Under The Influence

by KrysKrossZee



Series: Pet Project [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Crack and Angst, Flying, Harry Potter Next Generation, Not Harry Potter and the Cursed Child Compliant, Original Character(s), POV Original Character, POV Original Female Character, POV Third Person, Quidditch, Underage Drinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-23
Updated: 2020-03-23
Packaged: 2021-02-23 14:08:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,386
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23279332
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KrysKrossZee/pseuds/KrysKrossZee
Summary: After receiving a dare during a drinking game, Alice Longbottom II (Neville's daughter and middle child) goes for a drunken flight around the castle.
Relationships: No Romantic Relationship(s)
Series: Pet Project [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1663804
Comments: 14
Kudos: 10
Collections: Cards Against Muggles Crack Fest





	FUI: Flying Under The Influence

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was originally meant as my attempt at writing a crack fic, and while it's funny in parts, I don't think it quite meets the criteria. I enjoyed it anyway so a big thank you to Hermione's Nook for once again allowing me to participate in their fests!
> 
> My prompt was:
> 
> Black Card: Educational Decree Number Thirty-Seven _______
> 
> White Card: flying under the influence
> 
> Thank you to KoraKunkel for being my fabulour beta once again!
> 
> **
> 
> This story is also part of the Pet Project series that I am writing about the Next Gen characters with SethWren (my long-suffering boyfriend). This story is set quite a few years before The Note, during their school days.

“This seems like a really bad idea, Alicat.” Lysander attempted to take both the broom and the bottle of firewhiskey away from Alice, but she jerked away.

“Since when are _you_ the voice of reason?” She frowned as she looked to James whose idea and broom it was. He just gave her an encouraging nod and that was honestly all she needed. His approval was all that she required anyway.

She watched as Lysander rolled his eyes and took another swig of his own drink. She knew he was mad at her but at that moment, she just didn’t care.

“Ready?” James asked as he leaned back against the stands.

Alice shrugged; ready was something that she never was, so why should now be any different? “Thanks for the loan.” She said instead before she drained the bottle and mounted the broom. She hadn’t ridden one since first year and back then she had hated it but a dare was a dare, and the sooner this was all over, the sooner they could get back to the game.

Truth or Dare was a sacred tradition amongst their friend group, and it was a huge no-no to refuse a dare of any sort. Alice was decidedly not going to be the first to chicken out.

“See you on the flip side.” She grinned at the two boys on the ground as she kicked off. She attempted to fly in a straight line; the dare was to fly once around the castle, which probably wasn’t all that big a deal to James, but to Alice… Well, she could barely remember how to control a broom. Add to that a dash of her father’s clumsiness and three or four bottles of firewhiskey, this was bound to be a challenge.

She glanced down at her best friend and goader/taunter and swallowed thickly when she saw just how small they were becoming. She was no Gryffindor, that was for sure but they had made a vow when they started their Truth or Dare tradition and she was _not_ going to back out. Alice took a deep breath before she turned her attention back to the Astronomy Tower. It seemed like as good a starting point as any.

The broom zigzagged through the air, despite her best efforts to try to keep it straight but she did eventually reach the Tower. She hummed to herself as she hovered for a moment.

Flying had never really appealed to her before then, but as she looked down at the castle that she called home and its surrounding ground, she kind of got it. It was almost the same feeling that she got from partying. Almost.

She leaned into the broom and hoped that it would take her where she needed to go. Her flying lessons were trying to get through from the back corner of her mind, but they weren’t doing a good job of wading through the swamp of alcohol that was currently drowning her brain.

The broom jerked more than once and each time Alice couldn’t help but let out a laugh. At one point she even found herself bumping against the building, despite her having sworn that she was nowhere near it. She’d _almost_ completed the lap when an open window caught her eye. It wasn’t just any open window though. She knew who it belonged to and she knew from the shadow inside that she had been spotted.

This was backed up by the yell of “Alice Hannah Longbottom! What in the name of Merlin’s trousers are you doing?!”

Alice jumped even though she knew that he was there and slipped from the handle. She tried to catch herself on the broom but her sense of balance - what little she actually had inherited from her mother - disappeared. She closed her eyes as she tumbled, practically accepting her fate but when the impact didn’t happen, she opened her eyes again.

Her father stood in front of her now, wearing his ugliest pyjamas which made Alice want to groan and laugh at the same time. Instead, though, she just gave him a sheepish grin as she stood herself up and smoothed down her dress.

Behind him, both James and Lysander were staring with their jaws on the floor. Ordinarily, she knew that they both would have taken off when they saw Neville appear, but not today.

“Alice.” Neville’s tone was sharp, but that was no surprise. He often spoke to her like that nowadays. She was the family disappointment after all - a title that she held proudly.

“I’m not the first in the family to fall from a broom,” Alice said with a shrug as James’ broom landed gracefully beside her.

“Have you been drinking?” Neville asked his daughter, his tone disapproving.

“It’s a school night, Daddy. What do you think?” She couldn’t help but grin. There was just something about winding him up that gave her a thrill. “Of course, I’ve been drinking.”

“Merlin’s beard…” Neville muttered. “Inside. Now. All three of you.”

Lysander let out a small yelp at his angry tone. Despite being one of the biggest troublemakers of the school, he was rarely ever caught and very rarely even in trouble.

James, on the other hand, was more than used to it. Being named after two of the Marauders, related to one _and_ having Weasley blood (not to mention the fact that his best friend was named Fred Weasley), this was just your average Tuesday night.

Inside the castle, the three students stood in a line in front of Neville’s desk. The Herbology Professor was bracing himself on it, staring at the desktop with a frown fixed on his face.

“Why,” Neville began, not even able to look up at them which only amused Alice, “when I have to reprimand students is it always you two?”

Lysander gave a small squeak which only made a giggle escape from Alice.

Wrong move. Neville slammed his hand down on the desk. “Enough.” He was glaring at Alice now but she remained unphased. There was only so much that he could do anyway, he wasn’t going to expel his own daughter.

“What you did was stupid and reckless. You could have been hurt.” Nevilles’ voice was cold and unwavering. He then turned his attention to James and Lysander. “And you two? Egging her on? James, I’d have expected more from you. I have half a mind to ban you from Quidditch for the rest of the year.”

“What? No! Seriously, I’ll do anything else! Please, Professor Longbottom! It’s my last year!” James pleaded, his desperation leaking through.

“And that’s why I’m going to let you off with a month’s detention. All of you.” Neville continued. “And a hundred points will be taken from your houses. I’ll be writing to your parents too.”

Alice rolled her eyes but remained silent. They all knew that she didn’t particularly care about points. Sure, her fellow Puffs would be livid with her and Lysander but they had to be used to this by now, right?

“Get to bed,” Neville said after a short silence in which the only sound was Lysander’s heavy breathing. Alice knew he was probably about to freak out so it was for the best that they all get out of there sharpish, even if her instinct was to stay and argue with her father some more.

The next day, while they were all eating their breakfast - Alice was having a liquid breakfast of coffee while Lysander had an entire mountain of bacon - Filch walked through the Great Hall with a frame tucked under his arm. He was whistling to himself in a jaunty way that made Alice want to throw a croissant at him but, fortunately for the caretaker, that sounded like too much effort.

Alice watched as he climbed up the ladder that she hadn’t even noticed at the head of the room. He fixed a plaque to the wall as the students watched, unrelenting in his whistling, and then he left the room in the same jovial manner as when he entered.

Alice read the words on the plaque and practically spat out her coffee. ‘Educational Decree Number Twenty-Seven: Flying Under The Influence’.

“I gotta autograph that.” She said with a laugh while Lysander just shook his head.


End file.
